Delirio Caldo (aka "Delirium") [1972]

I find myself in a quandary--I found a movie I really, really want you guys to see, and yet if I explain too many of the reasons why I loved it so much, I fear it would spoil the glee you'd get from unwrapping its glossy foil exterior, finding chocolate inside, and *then* biting into a center of unexpectedly delicious nougat, churned by the very hand of God.

In a way, I already ruined that metaphorical candy for you--no matter how good the candy is, you'd never find it as marvelous as the set-up would suggest. If that nougat had the slightest grit, or that chocolate cracked instead of melted, you'd feel gypped, and you would grow to mistrust--perhaps even loathe--me. Instead, it would probably have been better for me to place the candy into your sweaty, outstretched palm and say "try this, I think you'll dig it."

So what do I do? Do I risk hyperbolizing, or do I undersell in the interests of maintaining your faith in me?

Renato Polselli's "Delirio Caldo"* (released under the several-times-used moniker "Delirium" for English-language markets) is a sloppy, sleazy, histrionic giallo, and as such it's already worthy of your love. If you require more of a Sell, I will present to you five un-spoiler-ey reasons you should add this flick to your to-watch pile.

*This is a review of the Euro-market, uncut release of the film, not the US release with the Vietnam subplot & excised violence and nudity.

1) Mickey Hargitay is an actor who brings me great joy. C'mon--you've seen "Bloody Pit of Horror," right? He gives great freak-out and has no understanding of subtlety, which makes him a cinema hero.

2) Cops dress like this. I can safely assume these guys were the sartorial inspirations for Crockett & Tubbs.

3) Dream sequences. Mickey Hargitay crazy-face dream sequences which also feature lesbianism. Stuff THAT in your pipe and smoke it, pals.

4) Get ready for Giant-Cross-Wearing Parking Lot Attendant to become one of your favorite Italo-thriller characters. I dassn't reveal any details, but I'd be remiss if I didn't advise you.

5) Miniskirts are an extremely important motif throughout the film. Why else would it open with a shot of a miniskirt and keep bombarding the viewer with bare-legged lasses? Miniskirts play such a crucial role here that you'll feel like a leering old man by the time the film has exhausted itself. Miniskirts on mopeds, miniskirts in phone booths, miniskirts in parks, miniskirts, miniskirts, miniskirts. Miniskirts to the point where you forget they're attached to the rest of a woman.

And with that last lurid detail, the defense of "Delirio Caldo" rests its case, content that all you Sex Perverts will want to run out and give this rude little 'trash romp a taste test. I promise you won't be disappointed.